Sunday, 4 September 2011

Superstitions Part II...

Today's post was quite obviously not written by myself, but rather by my far more talented and handsome friend. It might not be medieval themed, but who really cares, it's just too good to be sitting neglected in my inbox. So I encourage you now to sit back, tuck into a box of biscuits, and enjoy...

Now listen folks, and I'll tell you a story about superstition. But first, I've got to introduce you to our hero. His name was John. Ever such a nice fellow, but with an unfortunate and curiously persistent relationship with misfortune.

Our friend John, he'd tell you that he didn't trust one bit in all that. Didn't like the idea that life was influenced and guided by strange obscure rules and regulations. But that's not to say he dismissed it entirely! Some people can hear about a rumour or a myth, and purge it completely from their minds, never to be thought of again. John was, quite unfortunately for him, not one of those people. You see, John would deny being superstitious – loudly, at times – until the day he died, but he'd always have – at the very least – the nagging thoughts tucked up real nice and secure in the back of his mind. That's just the kinda guy John was. How he was made, and how he lived. Wouldn't be John otherwise.

So when in his childhood, our friend John managed to break a mirror during class, he wasn't all that swayed. I don't know why they had mirrors, maybe it was a science experiment. It's not important and it's irrelevant to the story. He broke the mirror by mistake, that's what matters. Then he quietly collected up the shards, and disposed of them responsibly. What a guy, taking care of his own business even at the young age of thirteen! No yelling for a teacher, no clueless expression, just right down on his hands and knees and cleaning up the mess. But anyway, he wasn't bothered by it. Until, that is, his classmates caught wind of what he'd done. John had broken a mirror, and they weren't quickly going to let him forget the years of ill fortune that would certainly lie ahead of him. Seven long years, John, and how about that! Quite a predicament, and all from what was a practically harmless mistake! Our friend remained stoic however, and tried not to let his jeering peers get the better of him. But alas, this day really had quite a lasting impact on him, even if he wasn't always consciously aware of it. Poor chap.

Every time things didn't seem to go quite his way, or he felt the odds stacked against him, there was always something in the back of his mind that wouldn't let him forget that mirror. This occurred with unfortunate frequency, or so John thought. While his life wasn't especially good by any means, it wasn't particularly bad either. I'm certain that nobody could really tell, even with all the data right there in front of them, whether he was blessed or cursed. It's just not possible to know, okay? Our pal John just seemed to be a normal guy! Unfortunately, even when he wasn't paying it full attention, his mind was always working overtime with the concept of luck, cross referencing it with every experience. Thus, he accumulated some serious superstitious baggage.

The first thing he figured out was a method of avoiding bad luck. That doesn't mean first chronologically for John, by the way – I couldn't tell you that. Anyway, this requires a little explanation. John, cursed as he believed himself – much as he'd deny it if you asked him – considered himself in a natural state of “bad luck”. So rather than seeking good luck, as any normal person would, John sought instead for little breaks of “average luck”. Or, as he thought it, avoiding bad luck. Back to the story. John's method of avoiding bad luck was the do things in specific number sets. Fours, sevens or tens, to be more precise. Quite where he came up with these peculiar numbers I'm not sure, but it obviously made sense to him. When working in fours, sevens or tens, John emanated a certain... Let's call it “gusto”, that simply wasn't there otherwise.

I'd tell you more, and there most certainly is more to tell, but there wouldn't be enough time to explore all the bits and pieces, so we'll leave it at that. Let's just take it as a given that our John was a superstitious guy to the core, and get to the main event. Where are my manners, to ramble out so much back story? Onto the main event.

John was out one day, feeling real chipper. Reason being was that his seven years – remember those? – were about up, if not done with on that very day. Maybe he acknowledged it, maybe he didn't, but he was looking forward to some comparatively good fortune, after years of suffering. So stroll he did, over towards the shops, to see where his mind may take him. He decided, by complete chance, to take a different route. Perhaps fate guided him. On one of these unfamiliar roads, he happened across a skip, within which he couldn't help but notice a mirror, haphazardly heaped upon other discarded furniture. Looking in the mirror as he strolled by, he caught a glimpse of a black cat grooming itself somewhere behind him. Poor John, he fixated on this stuff something fierce! He might have even imagined it! His smile – which was somewhat goofy, if we're honest – faltered, and he spun, trying to find the cat, source of potential prolonged bad luck. John didn't like cats on the best of days, and today the sight triggered something akin to a fight or flight instinct. He lashed out with his foot at a piece of rubble which had fallen from the skip, and it flew... Straight over to a nearby tree, before rebounding with an awful crash straight into the skip. Oh dear. John didn't even look back, bless him, but set off for home with such an expression, you'd think he'd seen a ghost. If he had chanced to glance back, he'd have seen that it wasn't the mirror he broke, but a discarded television set beneath it. He fled, subjecting himself unconsciously to another seven years of trouble, even though he'd done nothing to deserve them. And you know what? He went through life like that. Misfortune led to misfortune, simply because he believed in it. How about that for a moral?

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