Yet again finding inspiration
on my regular walks – a house that was once crammed full of personal items is
now sadly deserted, with only the for sale board planted like a conquering flag
in the front garden.
As I walked into the house of my long-ago childhood it felt
for a moment as if the fabric of the building had been shifted. It seemed to me
that the rooms had moved, the corridors changed, as if the house was a giant Rubik’s
Cube that someone had been playing with, before puzzled and defeated they had set
it back down completely altered. Even as I searched through the memories of
this place, coloured sepia by the photographs that captured them, I could not
quite fix in my head how the rooms ought to have been.
I went through the first door I came to on my left. There
was no reason to choose that door. There was no moment of sudden insight and
clarity. It, like all the others, was a blank canvas to me. The peeling,
yellowed-paint was merely a sad testament to the passage of time. The catch had
not been fully clicked into place and the door opened almost eagerly with only
the slightest touch.
The room was long though not especially wide and at the far
end there was a pair of large glass doors. They looked like a trick of the eye,
an illusion to make the room appear longer. The neat rectangle of grass outside
became the natural extension of the neat rectangular room. The room was entirely
empty perhaps explaining why my first impression was purely of rectangular proportion.
There was no furniture to claim the empty walls and floors as their own. There
were none of the trinkets, pictures or ornaments that I know had once covered every
available surface. Their remembered presence, and their absence now, only
emphasised the complete emptiness of the room.
Did I play on this floor at the feet of grown-ups? I cannot
remember this room specifically, but the house had always seemed to me like a
museum; a grand collection of memories and tokens. Time, like a thief, had
stolen those memories and the items these rooms used to contain. Perhaps I am
the only one left who can feel that loss and emptiness. An empty chair is only
an empty chair if you have the expectation that someone should be sitting there
and discover that they are not.
A stray beam of sunlight filtered through the smeared
windows of the room. For that moment the room was brilliant gold, the air
filled with shimmering glitter and something of the past seemed to return. The
light mellowed and faded, however, as the clouds continued to pass in the
outside world. The house returned to its faded glory, the dust hanging heavy and
the rooms remaining empty.
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